nikolaz

nicholas hindman

5 Watchers27 Deviations

2.9K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

See all

Been a While by nikolaz, literature

Literature

Been a While

It has been some time scince i last laid down a rhyme but you can never start anew it always seems to come back to you The Skill to write cant be won and rightfully so it cant be undone The way i feel escapes me letting me finally break free the harsh bounds of the world disappear when a good pen and pencil are near it can literally be about anything feelings from the past, and lingering thoughts of present or maybe of resentment it can be of a beautiful girl who is miles away or scriptures of the most beautiful day i write for myself to find out how i feel cause i lie to myself as if it was real writing can open up as your

The day After by nikolaz, literature

Literature

The day After

The day after every fight. everything seems alright nothing is left behind to fester no body wants to kill each other they dont hate for anything becuse they are each others everything after they have made up, and they have kissed feelings of anger are dismissed they love each other with their entire hearts knew that they did from the start the way they look in each others eyes she doesnt even think of other guys he couldnt imagine leaving her side it is in each other that they confide thinking that they will be forever able to pull through every endevour knowing they will be together

The Ones We Love by nikolaz, literature

Literature

The Ones We Love

They love us, there is no doubt, But i can never figure out, How they can hurt us so bad, And make us wish that we had never had, Feelings and a bleeding heart, Dragging us from the start, Nothing but good intentions, But we never do mention, How they kill us deep inside, Where all of our thoughts reside, We take the time everyday, Not knowing what to say, Thinking our way, please contemplate, Before you get irrate, Remember this little something, If you ever think of one thing, They dont intentionally hurt us, We may think that they are delirious, The things we all go through are rough, Remember always, that they are the

I love You by nikolaz, literature

nana :japanese for apple: by nikolaz, literature

why do we hate each other by nikolaz, literature

Literature

why do we hate each other

i never say "i love you" without having meant it. and i dont know why i can say that i hate you if i said it in the first place. life has gotten ill i cannot speak about us anymore. it hurts. it hurts to even think of you. i wonder sometimes if it hurts you, just as much as it hurts me. then i think about who you are. the person that i know. then i get cold. i know its at that time that i know you are hurt. not nearly as much as i am. you are hurt beyond my comprehension. love is a precious thing. you said it, to me. the words i believed you. we were miles apart, but i held you close. we were in two different worlds, and

Dreams do come true by nikolaz, literature

Literature

Dreams do come true

Never stop believing in your dreams. Mine came true, of course it took forever. Dreams are special, they are yours, and nobody elses. If you have them, noone can take them away. If you share them, people will know what kind of person you are. Your thoughts, emotions, and hopes go into them, Yet you can never really get anythign out. They are guidelines, rules and restrictions for your person. Its who you are, who you will be, and who you want to be. Nobody can take who you are away, And best of all, noone can take away who you will become. Never stop believing in your dreams. And never stop believing in yourself.

the last bridge that i burn by nikolaz, literature

Literature

the last bridge that i burn

the past years of my life where and when did they go all the bridges that i have burned how many, i will never know the ways that i have lived each individual hour that past all of the people i try to remember the memories could never last the stinging sensation in my heart all the pain that was so condensed the people that i have hurt my life will never make any sense the way that i have treated all of the ones that were really true if they could ever see how sorry i was how dead i feel inside, if only they knew growing older and more ignorant everyday all the feelings that were once there they had died a long time ago bur

the backroads to my heart by nikolaz, literature

Literature

the backroads to my heart

many people have traversed here. i shouldnt let them. they have all taken the worst care of the heat on which they trod upon. it is ok, cause i bet it was bound to happen. me, all alone. i have noone, and on second thought, never did have anyone. they all should be ashamed at what they have done. yet they arent. they have crippled my heart, again and again. they tell me, " o baby, nooone but you." and then they have lied to my face. i know they havee, and i know that they are not ready. one of them. i had found my soulmate in her, but it was not to be. we had the fun that grown couples did. we were the best of friends. now the

i never saw you, like this by nikolaz, literature

Literature

i never saw you, like this

I never saw how good you looked, until this very moment. I never saw how much you were out of my reach, until this moment. I never had seen, something as beautiful as you, on that night. I will never see something that sets my heart on fire, the way you do. I will never see someone take such diligent care on someone such as me. I doubt that you have seen anything like me. I doubt that you will find anything like me. If you pass me over, how do you know that you have not passed over true love? That is correct, you don't know. You will never know, unless you try. I want you to try. I need you to try me. We have gone through pain, yes,

See All

Featured Gallery

See all

the escape by nikolaz, literature

sleep by nikolaz, literature

Literature

sleep

sleep is for the weak at mind so why do so many insist on getting a good nights sleep. who are they to judge the quality of a slumber. i know that i dont need sleep. because when i sleep, i dream. terrifying thought run through my head, like what if so and so had died, how would i feel. and if i had been wrongfully accused of a crime. or worse of all, what if i could not see your sweet face in the morning light. as you saunter up my front porch to greet me. and in the warmest way, embrace me in your strong thin arms. when i am holding you, i lose all track of thought. but the one thought that i cannot seem to shake, is how beautiful

All of what I do not need by nikolaz, literature

Literature

All of what I do not need

You gave me compassion, when it was unwanted. You gave me courage, when my dreams were haunted. You held me back, whenever somebody taunted You gave me everything I wanted, and all of what I did not need. You gave me the strength, but only enough to crawl. You gave me everything, but in reality you gave me nothing at all. But of everything you did, you did to set me up to fall. You gave me everything I wanted, and all of what I did not need. You gave we the will, when i could not find it to begin. You kept my head on my shoulders when the room started to spin. You made me think of things to do, and never want to be cleansed of sin.

I see no line by nikolaz, literature

Literature

I see no line

Everywhere i go, i hear about lines. The thin line between love and hate, the thin line between war and peace. there are no lines though. as far as i can see, none can be drawn. no one single person has the right to draw them. the line between love and hate, not there. If you love someone, you hate them for a reason, if you hate them, you feel the same connection to them as someone that you would love. i see no divisions, no separation. i see with eyes unclouded by hate. i see the truth, and that is there is a line between reason and madness, yet nobody can see it. there are these lines, but nobody can see them. so when i say tha

the scabs by nikolaz, literature

Literature

the scabs

you think that we are better, but we all hate ourselves inside, no matter how hard you try the feeling wont subside. the beautiful skin that was once there, has been replaced my ugly outerwear. pick at it, you know you will eventually. you dont want it to get infected, but you dont want it to bleed. so it is either pick at it, or rip the damn thing off. dont worry about what others think, even if they point and scoff. it will make you feel much better, to lose the all of the bad blood. why the hell do you need it anyway, the shits as dirty as fucking mud. so pick at it, until it begins to bleed, maybe now you will be able to fufill

worn by nikolaz, literature

Literature

worn

The soles of my shoes wear thin, as I walk down the barren street. why me, and if me, then why now? I am worn, worn out, and worn as a broken animal. I am still here. worn here. I am still here, but i am not here at all. I am empty. I am foriegn, and I dont belong. i am like a the straw in the needle stack, golden and there easy to find, but noone will dive in head frst to help me.i cant be helped. i am helpless. i hate myself, and so does anyone who knows me. they hate me for what i say and do, i hate me for how i feel. if only there was a way to get over all of this hatred. if there was a way to stop it, to erase it all. but in

You and I by nikolaz, literature

Literature

You and I

I feel you, and your presence. your threre, but i cannot see you yet. I feel you though. i feel your aura, your beauty. I feel you inside me, pulling at my heart strings. I know you. i know you better than yourself. I love you, i love you more than i love life. I weep when we are not together. I laugh with you when we are having fun. You laugh at me when i say something funny. You miss me when i am not there with you. You jump on me and kiss me, when you want to. You are there when i need you to be. You make me feel so much better about myself. You make me wonder what is going on half the time. You make me the man that i am. an

i fucking hate you by nikolaz, literature

i wish i could not see. by nikolaz, literature

Literature

i wish i could not see.

when i pass on, away from these earthly chains. when i have died, and gone to another plateau. all the people that i know, will i remember their names? will i have from them, anything that i can show? no, i wont. at least not visible evidence. the things that really matter, they are on the inside. now here i am just sittin on this fence. teetering both ways, and being taken for a ride. you tell me that i am selfish, and that i dont doubt. i wish you would die, or kill me. you want to scream, you would love to shout. go ahead and beat me to death, it is better than having to see. seeing you grow away from me. feeling you fall, s

If ever by nikolaz, literature

Watchers 5

AshleyxBrooke

emokidvicious

PurplePiggy

KutieAngel

realromantic

Watching 8

darknessupon

KutieAngel

BloodCurdler

realromantic

thecamerajunkie

AshleyxBrooke

PumpUpThePixels

lithiumpicnic

Collection

Favourites

Missing you by realromantic, literature

Literature

Missing you

I wake up, a normal day- i thought, No idea that my parents had fought, A naive little 4 year old with need in explanation, Mum saying it'll be okay Dads on vaccation, As I got a little older, My relationship became colder, A destort image of what he was doing each day, Our lives seperated love moving away, So much affection was said when we met, He said he loved me yeh right, how much should i bet. Why doesnt he understand I dont like his relationship, That bitch called Jane caused that vital blip, Now I am older its understandable why, But all i know is my dad is one big lie.

Deviation Spotlight

forgiving by nikolaz, literature

Literature

forgiving

i told you before, no you cant convince me, i am not that forgiving what? you want closure, how can i give what i myself, don't have dont look me in the eyes, i am crying first time in many years, that i have dried so many tears. not even when my closest realative died have i wept not even when my youngest dog past did i weep. how can you make me sob with just seven little words, you are not ready for our relationship, then why did i even try really, you say that it is best we just stay friends, just what i was thinking, that is the true rules you know, staying friends, oh so you want to fight like we are in a relationship, well i

forgiving

nikolaz

About nikolaz

See all

Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 19 years
He / Him

Badges

My Bio

Favourite cartoon character: yakuul, the red elk from princess mononoke.

Favourite Visual Artist

hmm........

Tools of the Trade

"The Andrea"

Posts

See all

nikolaz

May 17, 2005

Man, This is just funny.

0 min read

I guess that there is a trend in the higschool right now. Freshmen tend to think that they are bigger, and badder than the sophmores, juniors, and seniors combined. Whatever. I could hardly care less. They think that they can hide behind school rules, and that they are protected by them. Well, let a freshman get cocky. Let him think that he is king shit, cause thats what he is. Shit. There is a kid who aparently says that he will kill me if i coax him into it. He says that there is a rage in him that will murder me. Good luck freshman. Kill me. I dare you. :eatshit: Eat shit :stab: and die.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

nikolaz

Dec 15, 2004

today

0 min read

today is the first day that me and andrea are going on a date. it is to a little church dinner function thingy. it should be fun considering i get to dress up!!!! yay. me and andrea share the same brain i swear!!!! i dont know why i am using exclamation points soo much!!!! life is uber good. i can't imagine a day without andrea, and even if i could, i wouldnt want to. i am sitting in school right now, with her hanging on to my arm, and i couldnt think of another place that i would rather be right now. i love her with all of my heart. and then some. Andrea, Iseur Loseur Yoseur!!!!!!!!!!!

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

nikolaz

Dec 2, 2004

dec 2.......wowza

0 min read

havent blogged in for freakin ever, o well. i guess thats what being madly in love with a person and an activity will do to you, i am so completley happy that me and andrea are together, I have never felt better to actually be certain. she is an amazing person. talked to an old friend the other night, Hey Ash....:) she literally saved my life, so i am forever in her debt. Never again known as the girl from New Hampshire. So andrea has sapped up all of my extra time and life, leaving none in there for ron, the greatest best friend in the world. hes sort of angry about that, but i cant help it. Having an addiction of any kind is bad.....right?

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Profile Comments 31

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Hey how are you?

this is to nick a okie, but no one ever said anything bout fighting except for you. i said if you ever come near jill again i would kill you, if you ever said anything like the whole herpes ordeal again i would kill you again, never said i wanted to fight you, but if thats how low you gotta stoop then go ahead lay ypur god damn hands on me, see wut happens. but in the meantime, don't you have anything better to do like makeout or anal blast kyle, oops, did i say that outloud, hu wonder how i knew that. Oh, and i'm not your buddy, so don't call me that again

fireslave

May 17, 2005

hey, isnt this that one kid...

yea. I decided its your fault i didnt remember your name....

you dont look like a nick. your new name is Craig. you're definately a craig.

well, actually, you can be mike if you want... that kinda works... but craig is better...

blackheart6

May 17, 2005

DIE....now, right now, do it.

5.....4.....3....2.....1
is he dead?...?

AAhhh, damnit, he's not

well i'll try again soon

buh bye

blackheart6

May 16, 2005

hi ther nikolaz, hows shit going. just read your last journal entry, wow, isn't that wonderful. do you love andrea when she gave you head as much you did when jill did. You know really don't take this personally, i tend to bring up old shit when i'm pissed. me and jill are totally completely over. just that i hate you souly and personally. Your a piece of trash who fucked up her life forever and prolly 29.5% caused all our shit we have, so congrats on that piece of shit. I hate you and anything you do or say to jill is an excuse for me to immediately fill with rage and kill you infront of the whole school.murder you you know that thing where someone takes anothers life from them. So just thought i'd stop by and say hi. O and if this pisses you off i don't care, really i don't so, if you plan on sayin something about it then go ahead. kiss my ass you slime bag motherfucking shit bag. Don't ever say or mention jill again, i don't care if i have nothing to do with her anymore i'm still there to get her out of trouble, and if your the one putting her in an uncomfortable situation then consider your life taken. don't cry, just hug your moms* and go to sleep.

emotionalgirl

May 14, 2005

hey nick hows it going? I see that jills giving you a hard time... I hope you can cope with her .... tude... see you monday or tommorrow on DA... :HUG: bye